Here’s to new beginnings!

I left home on the eighth day of the month and 8 months later I went back
There were so many things I thought it might be or that I would feel
But what I felt was different from what I expected

At home
I felt, at home
I felt a familiarity
I felt as though I never left
I felt liked I belonged
I felt like I had a place here
I felt so loved
I…
I felt that I knew that I couldn’t stay
And that feeling, tore me

When I got back
I felt so much sorrow, for what I could no longer experience
I felt apprehensive, for what was to come
I felt as if I’ve traveled back in time, to my old self. To when the city was all new and all things were uncertain
I felt the urge to go back (home)

I felt as if I knew that I was here for a reason
I felt as if I had the space to become myself here
I finally felt like I was becoming more ‘me’

I felt alone
I felt encouraged
I felt crippabled
I felt free
I felt, human?
I felt like me

Here’s to new beginnings
Here’s to the old me
Here’s to becoming, who I was always meant to be

Lately, God had been speaking to me through numbers. Every number in the Bible has a meaning. The number 12 means faith and the number 5 means grace. It’s been 12 years since I have prayed the prayer of salvation Romans 10:8-10 and it has been 5 years since I have been faithfully walking with the Lord Amos 3:3. 
Here’s to 2020 my year of faith and grace.

Read More: Becoming | Called | Grow | Until